Let’s start the year off right and cut to the chase. Today I’m going to share with you what women want in a lover. Each woman is of course an individual and will have her own specifics, but when it comes down to it each woman wants a S.T.U.D.!
Before you break out into a panicked cold sweat, I’m not referring to the size of your package or how often you can get it up, men what I’m talking about in being a great lover is the following:
What Women Want in a Lover: Sensuality
Unfortunately most men think their sensuality is all in their penis. No my dear fellows, being sensual has to do with all of your senses ‘ not just that one part of your body. A sensuous man is in touch with his entire body, sensuality comes through in how you move, how you think, how you behave.
Laugh if you want at the meterosexuals, laugh at their grooming routines, the manicures they get, the facials, the massages’but while you’re laughing they’re walking away with the women and walking them right into the bedroom. That’s right guys, women love men who are well groomed and take care of themselves. Women love men who are at home in their entire body, not just their johnsons.
Sensuous lovers know that great sex is about the entire experience, not just waiting for the moment when you get to ‘stick it in’. Sensuous lovers know how to create the right atmosphere (from candles, to nice clean sheets, to music in the background, to yummy snacks in the fridge), and they know how to take their time and enjoy what each of the senses have to offer while making love.
What Women Want in a Lover: Thoughtfulness
You need to put yourself in a woman’s mindset and understand what’s important to her.
Most women need more foreplay than men realize. It doesn’t mean, however, that you always have to spend an hour making out before you have sex. What it does mean is that you need to find little ways to start sparking her libido before you ever hit the bedroom. How are you with compliments and sexy language? Why not use them at the grocery store while you’re both shopping for dinner or on the phone when you’re getting ready to leave from work?
You don’t have to spend a fortune on a woman to show how much you care, often small favors and gifts get the point across best. Have her car washed, buy the groceries, take charge of cooking an interesting meal’these are all things that show a woman how much she matters to you.
Most importantly be thoughtful in dealing with sex. Be prepared, have condoms and lubricant (even if you’re going to her house). If she’s coming over to your house for the evening make sure the bathroom’s tidy, there’s toilet paper and your bedroom doesn’t look like a tornado hit it! I cannot stress enough how much making a woman feel comfortable helps heat up her libido.
What Women Want in a Lover: Uniqueness
It’s amazing to me how lazy so many men are as lovers! They learn a few moves from reading Penthouse or watching a porn video as a youth and then stick to those same moves for the rest of their lives. Boring! When’s the last time you updated your repertoire? When is the last time you read a book or did research on the internet and learned something new? How good are you at the following?
Are you a great kisser? Do you know how to vary your kisses in length and style, do you kiss her neck and cheeks and ears or do you just slip your tongue in her mouth and leave it there for as long as possible? How are you at rolling around with your lover before the clothes come off? How good are you at dry humping, or is that something you left behind after high school?
-Oral sex (on her silly, not receiving it)
Do you use your imagination as well as tongue and fingers when going down on a woman? Do you have any interesting moves you’ve made up to send her over the edge, do you tease her by stopping mid session to kiss her thighs and stomach, or are you just lapping away at her, looking at the clock, praying she’ll come soon so it’ll be your turn?
Do you just climb on top of her and bang away, or are you inventive? How many new positions have you tried lately? How good are you at using your fingers to help bring her to a climax at the same time you’re grinding into her?
-Time & Place
Are you completely predictable about where and when you want to have sex? Unique lovers know how to shake things up and keep their lovers guessing (which adds to the excitement), they like to surprise them into making love on the kitchen table, or in the alley behind the dance club’Unique lovers know how to tease and cajole their partners into being ready at any time and any place. Is that you?
How open are you to trying new things? Unique lovers are willing to be brave and try something they’ve never tried before. They know that if you don’t like it you can both laugh it off and have it as a personal joke between the two of you for later. Have you ever bought her a sex toy, tried a bit of bondage (all with consent of course), or played fantasy roles for each other? Have you ever bought a book on extending orgasms and spent an entire day in bed with your lover seeing if you can make them happen?
What Women Want in a Lover: Determination
By determined I mean determined to show women a good time. Here are two things you must accept: Most women DO NOT orgasm from intercourse alone, and many many women will lie to you and tell you they DO just because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Why is it important that you understand both of these points? Because they are two of the biggest reasons women don’t want to have sex as often as you do.
You must make it clear to your lover that you don’t want her to lie about having an orgasm EVER. The problem is that women lie to make you feel better, but each time that sex happens and she doesn’t orgasm, resentment builds up and she begins to want to avoid sex altogether. You need to make sure this doesn’t happen by letting her know that her orgasms are just as important to you as yours are.
Now, that doesn’t mean you’re responsible for making her orgasms happen. What it does mean is that you’re willing to work diligently with her to make them happen. You’re not a mind reader, you can’t figure it all out without her help, but you need to let her know that you’re willing to do whatever it takes, whatever position, whatever ‘added’ touch, toy, communication etc. to make things as enjoyable for her as they are for you.
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